Family and Relationships
Can you tell us the main point of your story?
The main point of my story would be about basically growing up and seeing that your parents really didn't love each other.
Do you feel you contributed something to other young women?
I hope I did. I mean, I hope like when they hear the story that they are like, ‘Wow, I'm not the only one,’ you know, grow up and see like basically broken homes.
Can you tell us the main point of your story?
The point was to show by vivid example that domestic violence became a part of our society, and it even is not considered as violence.
Can you tell us why you selected this story?
In my life, it is a bright example of humiliation, bright example of indifference, and of course, it influenced me.
What was your experience making the story?
In the beginning it was hard to understand how tell my story, but when I started, I became inspired by my work.
Can you tell us why you said yes to take part in this project?
Maybe after watching my story some people will think about the problem of domestic violence, will change something in themselves, or will try to change something in their environment.
What did you enjoy about this project?
I enjoyed the fact that I could speak out, tell my story, live through it again, and think more about this problem.
GTG asked: What is the main message of your story?
The main point of my story is that women should not keep silent and feel ashamed. It’s really not their fault that a man makes them suffer.
GTG asked: Why is it important to get our stories out?
It’s very useful to tell stories, not to keep things inside and it’s useful for others and for you too because it’s like a closure.
I think it’s important for people. First of all, it’s important because it makes them feel better. While scripting my own story, I realized that working with victims helped me to understand my aunt. I could never understand her and even criticized her [before].
GTG asked: What is your story about, and why did you tell it?
My story is based on domestic violence that occurred in my house as a young woman growing up. I witnessed a lot of violence and trauma within my home and between my parents. My father was an alcoholic he was very abusive toward my mother. My mom was very…well she defended herself.
I have so many stories, but that story was really a story that I thought of when I first proposed to do the project; I thought I have a story about my parents. That’s the story that stood out cause a lot of women don’t actually fight back in domestic violence cause it’s toward men, and my mother got arrested… My dad called the police on my mom and I was shocked [because] my dad beat my mom so many times. They used to fight all the time; they used to be crazy. My mom never called the cops – never took my father to court.
GTG asked: What would you like young women to take away?
My main message is you are not alone. You cannot overlook it; you can get over it. You are stronger than this situation… [You are] not going to forget it, it was something that was stolen from you, but it’s not going to define you. It’s not.
You are not the only one, and don’t be scared that monster that might live down the hall from you or down your block from you, he might not necessarily be your dad he might be another male person in your life, but it is OK. You will be OK, You will be OK. You will prevail over all of that. Don’t let that define you as an individual. It is fine for you to hurt, it is fine for you to cry, you are human, but don’t let it define you – go over it – you are so much more than that.
GTG asked: What is the main message of your story?
My story is about the things that happened to me when I was a child. I didn’t have the best childhood and I know that’s relatable to a lot of people. Basically what I was trying to give to people is that no matter what you go through you are not your past – you grow from your pain and you can grow from pain, that’s why toward the end of my story I made sure it was a positive ending just to prove that point that you are not your past or your pain, you grow from it.
GTG asked: What would you like young women to take away?
I want women to feel like you can be strong as women – that your abuse is not you and you shouldn’t let your pain and your past make you who you are. I was looking at certain stories and they left on a bad note . . . they made me sad . . . like they had no hope, that’s why I made sure in mine I gave them something positive from the whole thing.
Women we need to stick together and we need to be strong together. We need to learn how to be strong in all reality, some women don’t stick together and some will be like, “It’s her fault.” I have never thought it, but people did that to my mom. I’ve been through it because the abuser disguises himself as the good guy all the time; it would hurt me when women would be like, “Maybe it’s her fault”. And women we should know each other because we are all one, and we need to stand up and stick up for each other.
GTG asked: What would you like young women to take away?
I would like that a girl or a woman or a teenager who experienced a similar event does not drive herself into a dark corner, be afraid of everything and everyone, meaning men altogether. Just think if such a thing happened you can’t go and change your past. There is anger that the most feminine thing is taken away from me but you shouldn’t be thinking about it all of the time, life continues and you should continue living.
Don’t focus on this story, try to move on. You’ll meet your person, your love and even if you tell him this story he won’t despise you for that…
Be stronger than this and try to carry on. Girl power, moral power, mental power.
GTG asked: What made you take part in GTG?
I would have never thought I’d be telling my story to the whole world. It’s just when you want to speak out. I chose my rape story as the most painful one. I just can’t think of anything more painful. I told this story just the way I wanted to tell it. [It might not be clear in the story, but D spoke in her interview how this rape was perpetrated by a so-called “friend”].
GTG asked: Why this story?
It was hard to decide which story to tell, the more you reflect on discrimination or violence the more you notice its manifestation in everything. I have picked the most positive story of all. When I recorded the story for the first time I broke into tears because I had forgotten how bad I used to feel and [how I] lived in constant fear.
GTG asked: What would you like young women to take away?
First of all that there is a way out, and your weakness is an illusion. A girl can do anything a man can do who seems to be stronger dues to his appearance and mass. A girl can do things better than a man. Just like I managed to do, and I’d like every girl to know that she can do anything and even better than a man.
GTG asked: What is the main message of your story and what would you like young women to take away?
Generations of women in my family before me lived dominated by each other.
I would like every person to believe that they can change their own life – that they can get rid of the shame and the desire to blame someone else for what’s happening in their life. They need to believe that every obstacle makes us stronger and gives us the chance to rise above ourselves.
I would like that people who watch this story do not feel hopeless. I’d like to remind them that love and light is inside of every one of us. As long as we believe in light, it will shine and project outwards.
